Uncle Bud

I first met  Bud 36 years ago. Christmas at my husbands family home in southern Indiana. He had a large family, many cousins, uncles and aunts. We were married in November of the same year, after knowing each other just a few months. At 19, feeling very intimidated, this would be a long weekend .

My husband's family tried hard to make me feel welcome. I was a stranger to them, looking back I understand what they were feeling. Having a difficult upbringing we were poor not my parent's fault, but we were unloved and abused. Life was a struggle, but somehow I was able to escape and now for the first time felt safe. I am sure my new family sensed this, though I had always tried so hard to let the past be just that.
I had never been surrounded by people who loved and laughed and enjoyed each other. Uneasy to say the least. Christmas gifts were piled high underneath the tree, homemade noodles, cakes, cookies, sock monkeys sewed by grandma in her eighties for all the kids. Festivite love. My mother-in-law and all her sisters were all graceful beauties, dressed to the nines, every hair seemed in place. I never had more than one pair of shoes at a time. One gift if we were lucky  under the tree. Christmas was not a happy time growing up, I wondered what I did to make Jesus so angry at me.
Now my new family was everywhere, the house was full and noisy, and happy. I sat afraid to move, would I say something to embarras Chris or my new family.  Uncle Bud was the only son amongst four girls. He looked just like my husband only older. Bud was in a wheelchair, car accident left him paralyzed a few years earlier. He pulled himself next to me '' don't let this bother you  kid, they're nice once you get to know them". He continued to tell me about himself,  he smoked like a chimney but I didn't care. He asked me about myself, how we  were doing. His once red hair was gray, just like Chris's today. When he smiled he smiled with his whole face. Soon we were laughing and talking , forgetting my insecurities. I knew he had a hot temper, just like my husbands,  but he was kind and gracious and made me feel ill at ease.
I would learn he once raced cars, was a truck driver, loved to fish and hunt. He was involved in the Teamster's Union, and after  his accident, Jimmy Hoffa  made sure he would be taken care of. Other family members soon made there way over by us. I did not feel alone or afraid the rest of the day.

Tomorrow we lay Uncle Bud to rest. He will be cremated . My family will gather to talk and eat and drink and remember. It has been many years since that first Christmas. I am no longer a timid 19 year old hiding in the corner. Many years have passed, through some difficult times we have stayed married and I love my husband more today then ever. I managed to obtain my nursing degree, raise three boys and have four beautiful grandchildren.  Uncle Bud was right, I gave it a chance,  they were more than nice. They taught me family values and love. They saved me Uncle Bud.